Firstly. I'm really sorry. Not just the type of oops-I-bumped-your-arm-as-I-passed-you sorry, but the way we make Jamie look-the-person-in-the eye-and-say-it-with-feeling-and-then-say-something-you-appreciate-about-the-person sorry. (Sorry is kinda up there with 'thank you' in our house..) I've really slacked off on the blogging. I'll try and do better.
Let me just say, that by way of karmic justice I now have so much to say that I have absolutely no clue where to start.
I have discovered a new term in the language of blogging. Its 'Twitter'. I suppose as in the type of breath-less constant way little birds pass information..?
The official Twitter web host defines it as the following:
"Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?"
Author and blogger Rebecca Walker says its about "The fragment. The word" Its being used a lot in connecting like minded communities, and increasingly in the run up to the US Election.
So often in the life of parents ( well, me anyway) brief snapshots is all you get to exchange, and the only way to stay connected. But 'Twitter'? There is no time for small talk, ice breaking. Its fleeting and completely intense.
The tears you spill on the shoulder of another Mum , in the two minutes as you run from pre-school to work, after the sleepless night. The connection, over simultaneous tantrums in the grocery store, that can put it all back into perspective, and save a tiny piece of ebbing sanity.
Oh the luxury of the life where you start a conversation with the lingering 'how are you? Oh fine. You? Not bad. Dreadful weather...' but rather, now, its increasingly calling across the park, the street, the pre-school doorway... 'hey! Noah's walking! Wow, that's so great - but a bit scary hey? We had to take Tom to the E.R, it seemed bad, but he's OK... Oh my gosh..." and the snatched hug and moment of eye contact that says all the rest.
I need to say here, before you worry that I am so rushed, stretched and flustered that I have no time for actual conversation that this is in fact one of the parts of motherhood that I love. It suits me, in lots of ways. I'm fairly intense, as are my children, and often my life. Never have friendships become so deep, so honest, so quickly. Never a few moments so life saving.
So, even with the complete inadequacy of the word Twitter to articulate this, here is mine...
Noah is indeed walking
Jamie turns 4 (!) next week, and we are holding our first birthday party, trying to be true to our values of environmentalism, locality and simplicity, and well, make it all fun...
We've had a family holiday, survived two weeks of constant downpour.
We've had some not ideal weeks of summer as Jamie tests new emotions and boundaries and so do I. We have moved forward. We are happier and I'm truly a better parent than 2 months ago.
I went back to work at the end of August, only two days a week, and so far so good.
and god, so much more...
mud, beach, morning preschool, so much rain, broken down van, new brown hair, financial pinch, passed exams - both mine and Marti's, new friends, first birthday, so sleep deprived, US Politics, new places, baby chest infection, Jamie writes his name......
I'd love to ask your advice and thoughts on so much of it, but I can feel the depth of the hand on my shoulder and eye contact from here.